Self-denial: The Battle of Ego out of control
A Reflection by Fred Schaeffer, OFS

A word that seems to be lost in our vocabulary: self-denial. I've been thinking a lot about that word, knowing we have an obligation to practice it, but we haven't been very good at it. "The proof of love is in works of self-denial, and this proof of devotion is something God demands of all His workers." The uncontrolled ego is a powerful enemy. One need but look at TV, read or listen to the News, and there one finds numerous examples of 'ego out of control.' Self-denial is the path to controlling our egos, also it is the path to an increasing love of God. God's greatest commandment: “You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind” that can only be accomplished when you abandon yourself to Jesus... when you deny yourself... and when you die to yourself.

Our Secular Franciscan Rule is a beautiful way of life, but unless we practice self-denial, that way of life is but an illusion. We also need to have humility. I see humility as the strength to recognize that the "l" in me is less important than the "You" in me. Without Jesus, I am nothing.

St. John of the Cross wrote:

• In order to arrive at having pleasure in everything, desire to have pleasure in nothing.
• In order to arrive at possessing everything, desire to possess nothing.

In order to arrive at possessing everything, desire to possess nothing. Whenever we assert ourselves by erroneously assuming that we have all the answers, we'll quickly find out that we really don't have any answers at all. Humility is such a tough subject to write about you first need to have it to tell others about it, and the minute you assume that you do, you find out you haven't got it at all. Humility is one of the distinctive of Christian values: by being humble, we acknowledge our place in God^’s kingdom, that we are very small indeed.

St. John of the Cross said: “Learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart (Mt 11:29), so humility rescues us from sinful pride. We all need to have a little self-love. None of us can get very far unless we learn how to feel good about ourselves, but this self-love needs to be tempered with humility and self-control. Jacques-Bénigne Bossuet (French Bishop, 1627-1704) puts it another way: "When God desires a work to be wholly from His hand, he reduces all to impotence and nothingness.”

St. Jerome says: “Outside of Christ, I am powerlessness itself." St. Francis referred to Jesus as "My God and My All." As we pursue that daily conversion of the soul, which our Rule refers to, you begin to realize that what St. John Vianney said is also true. He said: "The life of prayer is the one big happiness on this earth!" Prayer isn't possible without humility.

Let our prayer be: "My God, I thank You for having willed that I should be nothing in Your sight. I love my humiliation and my nothingness. I thank You for having taken away from me a few satisfactions of self-love, a consolation of the heart. I thank You for every deception that has befallen me, every ingratitude, every humiliation."

I can hear you say - it's too tough, too difficult (Hey, I've said that many a time) - but when you pray for self-denial you will find that you will desire it more. When you pray about humility, you will find that when the occasion presents itself, you will remember the prayer and follow His way. When you feel insecure, tempted to follow yourself rather than the One who is calling you, think about our beloved St. Francis... his life was a continuous example of humility and self-denial. We are blessed to have his Rule of life to follow.

Note: Sentences in quotes were taken from “Soul of the Apostolate” by Dom Jean-Baptiste Chautard, OCSO. Abbey of Gethsemane, 1946. I keep misplacing this book, must have re-purchased it three times since 1959 (still can’t find it), when I first read it in my Capuchin novitiate. It’s hard to read but an extremely good and informative book, especially for those pursuing Religious Life. Here’s a link to a PDF copy (142 pgs): http://www.mountsaintbernard.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/Dom-Chautard-The-Soul-of-the-Apostolate.pdf 

The Other Side

Self-denial is good for the soul, and so are many of the other things that have been discussed in our newsletters or websites. But there is another side to all this: Francis was also a playful person. He enjoyed life and liked to have a good time. So should we. In discussing the life of the brothers/sisters, it is not the work that’s important but doing it together with our brothers and sisters. So having fun has really another dimension: doing it together with our fellow Franciscans.

Occasionally we, as a Fraternity, used to go to a restaurant on US-1, to have a meal together. Maybe because of Covid we didn’t think it wise to continue this practice. Let’s think about doing things together again.

Peace and Good, 
Fred Schaeffer, OFS

Partially from Oct. 1995 newsletter (file: C1095.pdf)
August 28, 2021

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