Charity: Respect and Kindness
A Reflection by Fred Schaeffer, OFS
Charity is love. When we're charitable to other people we convey to them the respect and kindness that reflects how we feel inside. People who are upset, insecure, and angry will talk in that way and they cannot talk with charity. So we should always remain silent when angry.
Charity toward other people is the outward expression of our love for God. If we do not have charity there is something wrong with our way of seeing God. Jesus said that we should love God and our neighbor as ourselves. So if we are disrespectful or uncharitable to others we also do harm to ourselves.
One day we went shopping, and while in a store I overheard two men in their twenties talking loudly to each other. The language they used was awful. Every third or fourth word was an expletive—it was revolting, to tell you the truth. I thought to myself—those poor unhappy souls; if they knew how offensive their language was to Jesus they would not talk as they did. I prayed for them. I hoped they at least knew God.
Yet, this language is very common. When I served in the military it was "normal," but then the military is known for its roughness and callousness and everyone serving seems to be subject to it. I hope that military boot camps have changed their ways. I also hope that people will realize what they are saying and revise their language to their friends and also to strangers. This language also says something about the rage going on in peoples' heads and that is a dangerous trend.
In monasteries and convents and, indeed, in professional business circles, there is no room for such behavior. There is a very special charity in religious life because its brothers and sisters have a very true and intimate relationship with God. Our conversation and treatment of fellow monks, friars and nuns (and of course all people) reflects the love and respect for God and for others and it is a reflection how we feel inside.
Between a superior, be he an abbot, a prior, priest or brother superior, or a mother superior, prioress and his or her subjects, there is a very special charitable relationship. Superiors represent God in their communities, and God, through the words of Jesus has told us that we must be as children in relationship toward the Father. This may be difficult to grasp for people outside monasteries and convents but it is very similar to the relationship you had to your parents. Those who come from broken homes and dysfunctional families as so many do these days may never understand the filial relationship required between themselves and God. I think that the lack of family unity in the parental home is one of the major causes for fewer vocations in the Church. Another cause may be the rise of secularism in the world, the lack of charity between people and between people and God and most of all, the lack of family love.
So let us build up what is lost. Let us be charitable with each other and with God.
Fred Schaeffer, OFS
July 28, 2025