God's Love for us         Part I

Fred Schaeffer, OFS

We all have a deep-seated need to be loved. And we want to know that we are loved. Our Christian philosophy of life begins with the conviction that there is someone who loves us deeply and intensively ... God!

God created us, and therefore he holds dear his creation, and His Son, Jesus, whom he sent into this world sacrificed Himself on the Cross in order to save all of us: giving one's life for His sister and brother is the purest way to show love. No further proof will suffice.

St. Francis of Assisi, basically a very pragmatic fellow, close to the earth, simple in his outlook on life, fully trusting in the Lord, as shown in his humility and meekness, his obedience and purity, tells us about God's love for us in so many ways.

For many years, Catholics and Christians have looked upon God as a rather foreboding figure, not at all in a personal way. And, to tell you the truth, when I was first told that Jesus wishes to be my personal friend, I believe I said something like - He's got enough to do without bothering about little old me. With 7.8 billion people in the world (or something like that), one person is rather insignificant, won't you say? But Holy Scripture tells us that He loves each one of us individually.

The world, unfortunately, has a completely different notion of what love is. The world seems to steer us toward carnal love, sex, and that is not what love is all about, unless the sex occurs in the State of Matrimony between a man and wife who are married to one another. And then it is love at its purest, never just "sex." If it is sex, then the marriage is not sound and will eventually fail.

There is a purpose in life ... for those who are married, man and woman, procreation, starting a family with children, who will grow up, get married and have children of their own some day - that is our purpose in life, and if we do this, we love God very much. Now, not all people will marry. I, for one, am a bachelor, and there is nothing wrong with that. The world, however, sees something sinister in that; there isn't. I get along with the ladies just fine, but I have taken a Vow of Chastity, and my commitment in life is to be of service to others, the way, I believe, Our Lord wishes me to be and do. I am not placing myself on a pedestal here even though it sounds like it - I just want to indicate that there are possibilities other than marriage.

Our life is not an empty life. Our Lord created us each uniquely in his image, and every person on earth has a vocation to do something He designed us for. "Vocation" is usually mentioned only when that purpose leads to one entering the clergy or religious life, but also married people have the vocation to be married. And likewise, single people who feel called to live a celibate life for Our Lord, have a vocation to do so. At least, we hope they do.

To be a Franciscan, either a priest, brother, sister, Poor Clare nun, or a lay person, or a married couple, is also a vocation. Not everyone is suited to become a Franciscan, because if you don't feel that you have a vocation, you're just not going to pursue it, right?

So when God created us, He contemplated our image and life in His divine mind, and He gave us all a name He knows us by. Chances are it won't be Tom, Dick, Mary or Harry but something rather unique. My apologies to the Tom, Dick, Mary and Harry-s in this world. I do not wish to slight you in any way. People who tend house, usually the wife, are a very important part of the family. They are the ones giving birth, and are instruments of God's love for children and husband. There is the age-old tension in a family that the husband is the breadwinner and the wife just cleans and cooks - wonderful are those who can compromise and help each other!

Everything we do for God is important to God, but everything we do for each other is also important to God. If we constantly worry for one reason or another, either we do not have trust in God, or we lack personal maturity to cope with life. So many people I know take life so seriously that every issue becomes the molehill that turns into a mountain. Chill out! Please! If you realize how much God loves you, you will find out that there is nothing that can't be overcome and when the crisis is over, it usually wasn't all that bad. Right?

Of course there will always be difficult people. There are grouches in this world no matter where we go, and those "A-type" personalities, can drive us nuts with their micro-managing nonsense. I have lived with such a person (in a monastery) and it was an education for me. But I got over it, because I do not take life that seriously, and I have found that if you give a problem (e.g. a relationship) too much energy, it will make you miserable. So I let them talk, talk, talk, and I tend to just carry on quietly.

"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself." [Mat 22:37-39]

This love we are to have for God should not be a highly charged emotional love, but a very simple, down to earth love. There are people who quote long sections of Scripture when they ask me to pray for them. That doesn't impress me in the slightest. Or, I once had a chap who insisted on placing his head on the altar and sit there for hours on end - doesn't impress me either. That's nice, but it's too much emotion. I'd rather see to it that my thoughts are with the Lord as much as possible all day long. And thoughts are not shown off, except when it is necessary. When someone is cursing or taking the name of the Lord in vain, that's the right time to say something about it, not in anger, but charitably.

Listen to the voice within. Contemplate daily your station in life, that is, examine just how much you love God. If you know you are sinning, especially repeatedly, you must understand that you just aren't loving God enough, and when there is something wrong, we try to correct it, right?

And, if you do this often, God sees in the innermost part of your thoughts that you are applying yourself because you love Him! And that is when you will hear His voice. When you do, you will have no doubt as to where that voice comes from. That is not to say that the devil won't try to play tricks on you, but you will discern that he just cannot win, as long as you keep following Jesus. And, eventually, the devil, knowing there is nothing to gain, will leave you alone, and then a wonderful time of peace and inner joy will follow. I have experienced all this myself, first when I was in religious life, and life in general was less complicated and distracting, but even now, as I have no desire to go back on my word to God to live in obedience, chastity and celibacy, even though I am a Franciscan lay person. And I realize this because even though I have many physical problems against me, I am happy and content, even living alone. I admit my place can use a good cleaning (I have someone who helps me with that now), but even this exterior view is less important to me than the practice of pleasing the Lord.

We are able to steer clear of trouble when we take the moral code seriously. People who are lax with morals get into lots of trouble. I don't mean that you have to be scrupulously serious about life, but at least be conservative in your interpretations of God's Law. People heap guilt on themselves for sins they have not committed because they are scrupulous. And then, there are also people who do the opposite, who are so lax in interpretation and they will get into trouble every time. To continue to love Our Lord, don't go to extremes, just do your best! Our Lord will work with you, and He will stand by you in case of trouble. And if you think he's not, just pray, just continue keeping this contact. We say that God is like us in all ways except sin - and knowing how we like to be told that we are indeed loved, it would stand to reason that God dearly wishes for us to tell Him that we love Him! And when you tell Him that, mean it! If you love God and you continue to sin, there is something wrong with that love.

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God's Love for us         Part II

Fred Schaeffer, OFS

In this part, of “God's love for us”, I would like to talk about humility. But before we get there, there are a few steps along the way. Our moral life depends to a large degree on four important virtues, the Cardinal virtues of prudence, justice, temperance and fortitude. Let's examine these virtues one at a time.

Temperance: cutting out excesses. People who are at odds with temperance are those who are gluttonous, who live to excess, or who harm themselves in some way, such as excessive dieting when it is not needed.

Cowardice is failure in Fortitude. A foolish person does not display fortitude.

Prudence is that virtue which sets our course on right judgment and a mature outlook on life. A prudent person acquires this trait as he grows up in his younger years. Persons who are prudent are often those who are honest and truthful. A mature and honest outlook on life is pleasing to Our Lord.

Justice. An even-handed approach and view/treatment of others speaks of justice. It is the moderation between selfishness and selflessness.

"No one can enjoy real peace of mind unless he has respect for himself; and no one can have respect for himself if he consciously compromises his conscience though fear of consequences. Anyone can be good when it is easy to be good. But God expects more of us than that. God expects us to be good even when it hurts―as so often it does. That is why we need the supernatural virtue of fortitude, one of the four cardinal virtues with which God has endowed all of us who are baptized.¹"

These four cardinal virtues are very important in our life as they steer our course in a morally acceptable way. And, when we have fortitude, temperance, prudence and justice, we know ourselves. We will have the means to effect self-control where it is needed and then you will be able "to see yourself as you are, and accept yourself as you are, without resentment or anxiety concerning your shortcomings and without complacency or vanity concerning your gifts: this is an essential ingredient to happiness―this is the virtue of humility.¹"

Humility is out of the mainstream, it seems. Many people shun humility, because they have a mistaken idea what it is. They think humility is submissiveness and/or timidity; a weakness. True humility is not like that. One who is humble sees himself in the greater reality, a servant of God, richly endowed with His blessings. He knows he is talented and attributes these talents to a loving God. He is not envious of others because he is aware of his own strengths. He knows that without God's help he can do nothing at all. Don't ever belittle yourself or the talents you have, because they are God's gift to you. Then there is pride that is masked as if it were humility. It's like saying: "My singing is poor (when it is really pretty good), but my friend sings so much better than I." That's pride. Tell it like it is. If you feel your singing is good, don't be afraid to say so, but always be aware that your talents are God given. When we deny that they are God given, we insult God. When we say things that are not charitable, there generally is a lack of humility. People who get annoyed quickly, condemning others for their failures and even stupidity, aren't being honest with themselves. First of all, we have no idea, really, what goes on in the mind of other people. Sometimes nothing is going on, but that's not for us to judge.

The humble person never forgets that "there but for the grace of God go I"; as a consequence he is a person of patience and compassion. When you do not have humility, generally you also are not patient with other people, and empathy / compassion is completely out the window. A mature person takes criticism as an opportunity to learn from. We do not like being criticized but at least we could give the other person the benefit of the doubt and examine what is being said to us, rather than throw advice given out the window in scorn. If the criticism does not apply to you, then we mentally file it in the trashcan and carry on. We don't dwell on it and we just forget about it.

A humble person is charitable, patient and possesses serenity. One who is proud is weak and thus vulnerable. You want to steer clear of excesses - stick to the middle of the road, treat people maturely, with the dignity they deserve, and keep discord and anxiety out of the picture. Do not inject your own weaknesses into a situation, and make others responsible for your failures. Mature and humble people do not have temper-tantrums.

How to become humble―well, know yourselves. Think a little about what you are doing, and most of all discern what you are about to say to the next person. Sometimes it is wiser to shut up and listen than to offer a thoughtless opinion. It is really the responsibility of parents to guide the children they love through their early years and imbue in their kids the sentiments of patience, kindness, maturity, knowing oneself, not necessarily in that order but as situations come along in the rearing of children, and always treat your kids with love and understanding, but not in such a way that they are spoiled. Parents who are over-protective do a child a disservice. And on the other hand, a parent who constantly punishes a child isn't doing the child any favors either. "If parents genuinely love each other and want and love their children, they can make a good many lesser mistakes without doing any real harm to their youngsters. A child can stand a lot of buffeting if he is sure that he is loved.¹"

Don't be discouraged. It is natural to be discouraged once in a while. In some months, I cannot quite make it financially - I get discouraged... but we spring back. We have more stamina than we give ourselves credit for. So God smiles, and all is well again. God has given us free will, and He has also given us Grace to use that free will. So a solution to the problem will present itself. We just have to be patient. We should tell our Lord all about it, and then let Him sort it out. And, in the meantime, having placed our troubles at the foot of the Cross - we don't dwell on it. Of course there are exceptions. Who would not be prone to worry, when the rent check is due and there is no money in the account and we know that if we don't pay up there could be dire consequences. But with prayer and mature approach of such a problem, your landlord will probably cut you some slack, particularly if you have lived there for 10 years and never had a problem paying on time.

People are more easily discouraged when they are alone, when they have no one to share their burden with. Talk to a family member, or to a friend. Talk to Jesus, he is your best friend. Before long a solution will present itself and then we thank Jesus because we know He made it possible for a solution to be available to us! It takes humility to accept this truth.

Also, some people whom I pray for in the course of the year do not think highly of the chances that prayers are heard and answered. These are unfortunately people who will call week after week with the same request and imply that God does not love them. That's just not true. Question is, what have you done to be open to God's healing hand? If you are closed to progress, nothing will happen. But if you realize that Our Lord loves you, and wants what is best for you, then with the expectation and hope that something will change for the better, you are open to His guiding hand and healing or at least relief will come. It takes maturity and humility to formulate prayer requests and then have the expectation that prayers will be answered. Have Faith! Have Faith in God, not in man. Doctors can cure - but only with God's influence and Grace!

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God's Love for us         Part III

Fred Schaeffer, OFS

In this part, of God's love for us, we should examine the question why it is that so many bad things happen in this world despite God's love for us, as this is the first question people ask.

In the cited text from which I get my examples, is a perfect analogy. Leo Trese¹ writes: "I shall never forget the high school girl who, in my religion class, wondered out loud why God permits so much evil in the world. On the way into class I had overheard that same girl say to another, in a fit of pique, 'With that homely face of yours you'll never have a boyfriend.' All through the class period the second girl had her head down on what I am sure was a very damp desk. Yet the first girl saw no incongruity when she asked why God allowed evil in this world. It did not occur to her that if God did otherwise, she herself would be dead."

Mankind's greatest tragedy is that many of us are unhappy and it is totally unnecessary. Most of the time, unhappiness comes from other people, not from God. And in our own pain we have the tendency to lash out and hurt people we hold dear. When many of us hurt, the whole world needs to pay attention, but in truth that will never happen, so we are alone in our hurt and we are miserable. Then someone says a good word, and the mood passes, and we say ... it wasn't so bad after all. But what about the people we have hurt in the meantime? Have we made peace with them?

Heaven, the place of ecstatic happiness, is so desirable, that we forget the struggle of Jesus Christ whose crucifixion brought us a step closer to that beautiful goal. So what is a little suffering on our part? If there never was any suffering on this earth, what would be have to look forward to, in heaven?

There are many good things that can come from suffering, particularly when we bear our troubles patiently and with humility. Tremendous Grace is the result of patient endurance of pain and frustration, and this Grace can be used in an intention for someone else's suffering. For example, each time we pray for another person, we give them a little from ourselves. How beautiful if our suffering, born in patience and love, could be the grace needed by other people who suffer too. That is what Jesus means, to give your life for your neighbor. We can't give our life yet, because we are still alive, so we do the next best thing - we offer our earthly suffering for that other person's need.

People can be real irritable when they are sick, but as caregivers (if we function in this role) we will have to learn to cope with that. Do your job joyfully and offer all these little inconveniences for the person who may be the cause, or for the souls in purgatory. That they may be able to enter Heaven very soon.

Bottled up anger can harm us physically and mentally, but Jesus tells us not to get angry. Some people let out their anger on the road (e.g. road rage) which is not advisable in any case. Turn that anger around and instead, pray for the person who may have caused your frustration. There are all sorts of ways to cope with anger, getting angrier and more frustrated is dangerous and unnecessary.

Suppose you are one of the unfortunate ones whose mortgage is being foreclosed. It's a terrible thing; one day you have a home, and then all of a sudden you're homeless. You can yell at God, but if you do, your anger is misdirected. I would rather yell at the establishment who have so deregulated the industry that billions of dollars have gone to waste to benefit one or more people rather than those whose loans were at peril. I am not at all sure that the need for $700 billion was so imminent as we were told it was, but what am I, a person on Social Security, going to do about it? I can yell or scream and nothing will happen. I can kneel down and pray, asking our Lord to forgive those who have taken advantage of millions of the minions, whom they are barely aware of, if at all, so that my rage will help someone. I have much more faith in someone who rose up the corporate ladder the hard way, through the ranks, than the instant rich who never stuck out a finger for anyone else. But they are God's concern, why should I make myself miserable over something I cannot change anyway.

For me, less is better. Live a simple life. Love God, and through His Love, love everyone else. That is, treat them right. And treat them evenly - do not favor one person over the other. Treat people in a mature way, be humble or meek, but do not be a doormat either. In my younger years, working in downtown New York City, for a brokerage firm, and being just about the youngest or most recent employee they had, it was always, "Fred, do this, or that, or get coffee for everyone." Well, I was good-natured and somewhat shy, so I did. There came a point however, that I felt, enough is enough. I felt I had paid my dues, so to speak. And I was no longer available for coffee runs. I was with that company for 10 years and I breathed a sign of relief when one day, after a particularly contentious morning, I said to myself - I don't have to work here. And I quit. About an hour or two later, midtown, I had found another job! But that doesn't happen today anymore. One cannot take chances in quitting first and seeking a position afterwards. Nowadays, if one wishes to depart, it is necessary to quietly seek a new position before quitting the old one. Not an easy task, but if you're good at what you do, it can be done.

In those days in the mid-(19)sixties, I worked in a so-called "wire room" - as a teletype operator, basically very nerve-racking work, sending buy and sell orders to the floor of stock exchanges and other messages. Nerve-racking because the tiniest mistakes could mean a lot of money lost. So you were always under pressure. Working in such an atmosphere could cause some major temper tantrums... and we did everything possible to avoid those volcanic eruptions. Those were also the days that I wasn't particularly going to church, which seemed to go hand-in-hand with the locale. Now I think differently about those things, and even if I were young, I would studiously avoid working in the Wall Street sector of employment. Isn't it easier when you're older to look back in hindsight and realize how much better it could have been, if you weren't so headstrong?

But I am, as usual, getting off the subject. Nothing that God has made is evil. God is not the cause of evil. We are. OK, maybe Adam and Eve were, since their sin, Original Sin, caused all this misery in the first place. But we have to live with it, no matter what we do. Likewise, the Lord permits things to happen, perhaps a Hurricane that robs people of their lives and property, or at least, He does not stop the Hurricane. If he were to stop that Hurricane for me, someone else He loves would get hurt. That isn't right either. Let us instead look for the good, so that under God ours may be a happy life. And if that life gets sadly interrupted, we pick up the pieces and we begin again. If St. Francis of Assisi taught us anything at all, it is in starting again for, as he said so often, "until now we have done nothing."

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